Christmas Gifts

Eden's first real Christmas was when she was 14 months old. I cannot even tell you all the things we bought her nor the obscene amount of money that was shelled out. Looking back I realize how foolish that was. She didn't appreciate that, she won't even remember it unless we show her pictures. It has taken 5 Christmas's with children for me to come to the place where I have now arrived. It has been such a process. I was just stuck in this mindset that I had some standard to live up to with my children. That if they didn't get THAT toy they'd asked for 20 times their life would somehow be over. I felt like I had been brainwashed.

I learn so much from "older" moms. I have a few moms in my life that are so wise-truly.  Last year I remember a dear friend telling me, "we only get our children 3 gifts". At the time I was in shock. Now while I get the theory I have not cut back to that extent...yet. We will see. I listened in utter disbelief as another friend shared with me that she buys some of her children's clothing second hand for Christmas. "I can't do that, that's not even ok" I thought to myself. I thought that was crazy, then I really thought about it. Why can't I do that? Are my 5 and 6 year old going to look a the items I purchased for them as they unwrap their gifts and exclaim, "This has no tag-is it USED?" It's not happening. And if it did I would want to seriously re-evaluate the morals and ethics I am instilling in my children. I DO NOT want them to feel like things are "beneath them". They don't "deserve" anything for Christmas when there are children getting nothing and going hungry. I see it too often in people of my generation and it makes me wanna slap someone. I don't, I pray for them instead, but you get the idea.

This year as I started making out my lists for Christmas and cleaning out bedrooms and closets to make room for all the NEW toys I stopped. Why do I do this every year? Why do I stress out about what toys to get and how much to spend? Why do I clean out closets and give away or sell toys that have hardly been played with just to make room for more things they don't need? I just found toys in the garage from last Christmas that are still in the boxes, never opened. Don't get me wrong I want them to have things that they ask for, just not everything. I want to simplify. They aren't going to be playing with cornhusk dolls in their empty rooms, they just will have less.

I don't want them to have a bunch of non-sense toys that do nothing. They should be learning life skills. Leaning to clean the house and cook. I'm not talking child labor here people, but there is no reason a 5 or 6 year old can't put the clean clothes that have just been washed in the dryer and turn it on. When I stayed with my new friend Ruthann this summer when I traveled with my sister to Iowa I was amazed that she could tell her preteen daughters to start dinner or wash dishes and they just did it. A huge part of that is being disconnected from all the "stuff" that kids think they need. It's not a bad thing. I don't want my kids glued to a game system or iPod and ignoring me and LIFE. If your child can't go to the store without watching a movie in the back of the van or go to a family function without shutting everyone out there is a problem. I need to be more diligent in teaching my children to entertain themselves. It is NOT my job to entertain my children. I am so sick of hearing, "but I'm bored". AND...? Go play, write a song, make up a new game, color a picture, listen to music, make your bed.

Anyway I will finally get to what I am trying to say which is that Matt and I are not getting our children any toys for Christmas this year. Its not about money either! If I made 6 figures I still wouldn't give my kids everything they asked for because it teaches them nothing other than to be spoiled brats. I know a few of those and it's nauseating. They will get toys from grandparents and that is fine, but I am not going to buy them things they don't need just to live up to a standard that the world has placed on me and a stereotype that says I'm one of those moms who only gets her kids clothes for Christmas. It's true, things they need and thats it. Ask me if I care what people say about it or me-DONT CARE! It has been so freeing to do this. I can't even express to you how it feels. I took the pressure off myself and if they come to realize this is the new normal then they will not be pushing for anything else (for a while). I encourage you to take a look at your Christmas with your family. We all want our children to have a great Christmas, but it's not about the gifts. It's not about the amount of gifts or the value it's about THE GIFT. We get so busy trying to impress our neighbors, friends and sometimes even our kids that we forget that! I love seeing "that look" on their faces when they open something they've been wanting, but I can no longer let that drive me.

Learning to Slow Down

Several years ago Matt and I were in a very different place than we are today. We were very involved in the youth group and looking back, it was just the right balance of involvement. The level of commitment still allowed us to have time for one another and our children. Back then I never really thought about it. 


After that season ended for reasons that were completely outside my control, I found it very difficult to get back involved in ministry. I didn't feel like I belonged or fit anywhere. I have a passion for so many things and was just waiting for God to lead me. 


A year ago this month Matt and I went out with a couple from our church for dinner. While there, the gentleman launched a vision for expanding our churches current July 4th celebration and asked for my help. I have always been a planner and it seemed right up my alley. I joined the committee, was involved in planning, secured over 100 give aways for the event and then announced the winners the day of the event (meanwhile I am 38 weeks pregnant). And so it began. I realized how much I loved the planning and the ability to give of myself, my time and my talents to the Lord and to my church. 


By the end of the year I had started co-leading the Mom's Playgroup and Mom's Night Out events, single handedly organized the Christmas Gift and Craft Show and committed to the planning committee for the annual Women's Retreat. Not to mention that I held over 15 events in the month of October for my business. I began to hear, "you're super mom! I don't know how you do it all" As shallow as this sounds I so loved hearing that. It was so nice to be feeling appreciated and as though someone really thought I was so amazing.


By the first of this year everything began to consume me, though I had not yet realized it. I don't tell you this to impress you, only to bring a very real reality to light. As of last week I was involved in or participating in the following committees, ministries etc.


Easter Eggstravaganza Planning Committee
Freedom Celebration Planning Committee (PR and Sponsorship)
Women's Ministries
Impact Expo
MOPS Steering Team
Branding Committee
Mom's Night Out
Mom's Playgroup
Meals for Mom's 
I'm probably leaving some things out and don't forget the others...
Child of God
Wife to one
Mother to Three
Business Owner


About 2 weeks ago everything began crashing down. I had known for some time that I was over-committed and was being pulled in too many directions. My business has been suffering, my house isn't clean, my husband is complaining and to top it off-on the way to Chicago on Saturday Eden called me crying saying that I don't spend any time with her. Broke my heart. 


I began to enjoy serving, ministering and giving of myself so much that I forgot to stop and as myself if I had time to do these things. How would my family be affected if I put one more thing on my plate?? The worst part was loving it all so much that I couldn't decide what to weed out. I am so thankful for the Lord's grace in the times we just don't deserve it. I am thankful that even when we have our own agenda and aren't fully thinking about what he wants, that he is still here to pull us back to reality. 


I don't ever want to love the sound of "you're a super mom" again. There are true super mom's out there and I am not one of them. A few come to mind...


1.) Consuela Parsons who gave up her evening with her 3 children to watch my 3 children to the mix while I got my hair done. A woman whom I have never heard yell at her children and show me what true patience toward a child looks like.
2.) Tami Harmon who is a mother of almost 2 year old triplets. That says it all right there. Actually she is an amazing encouragement to me and is always looking for ways to uplift other women and share the biblical view on a situation. 
3.) Tami Hair a mother of 9 who manages to get all 9 plus herself and a husband out the door and to church 2-3 times a week. I cannot say I could do the same without quitting half way though. She is always put together, never complaining and still has time to head up the new MOPS group at church. 


So the moral of this blog is:
I am not super mom
I need to remember that I don't need to try to be super mom
There are real super mom's out there
Choose your involvements wisely  
Be slow to speak, quick to listen. 

Day 2

I think this is the 3rd day in a row that I have blogged. It must be a record. 

Discipline is the word for the day. This fast already has taken an incredible amount of it. I hadn't realized when I am preparing meals for my children how much I snack out of habit. I eat one gummy snack when I open a pack for Adaleigh, I snag a couple marshmallows when I make apple smiles for snack time. It has become such a routine that I really have to retrain myself. With that being said, I am so happy that we have that ability. I am so thankful that God chose to allow us to have our own free will. I can choose to do whatever I want. I can choose to do something and then the very next day choose not to do that same thing. I am so much stronger than I realized I was. I've got this in the bag! God is on my side and if I trust in him and put my mind to this, there is nothing that will come between me and finishing this fast (no cheating involved). 

So what has on the menu? I'm not an over-achiever like my friends Tim and Consuela, but I did look up several recipes to try because I was at a complete loss as to what I was going to eat. I had visions of a plate with nuts, green beans and a carrot on it. Last night I made vegetable stir fry which wasn't horrible. Then I made a batch of oven oatmeal. The recipe called for almond milk (which I've never had) raisins, natural applesauce, cinnamon, dates and pecans. I had it for breakfast this morning and it was delightful! And dates are actually good, don't know what I hadn't tried them before. I also tried "Banana Milk" which consisted of almond milk, bananas and cinnamon in a blender. Who knew this would be so good? 

What an amazing way to learn to be more disciplined and listen more closely to the heart of God. 

On a completely unrelated note, I need to complain about something. 

I am a very trusting person. I have been most of my life. If you're nice to me and we are even just new friends I will trust you completely unless for some reason you give me a reason not to. I have a tendency to just believe that if someone is nice to me and we hang out a couple times that we have become good friends. I think that is some of my old insecurity starting to come out. More recently it has become very apparent in several instances that I am not as close to several people as I thought that I was. It's nothing that they did intentionally (at least I don't think so), but it is pretty apparent non the less. Matt has commented several times in the last year that we NEVER get invited out by other couples or asked over for dinner. This is completely true. In the 3 years we have been at our current church I can count on one hand the number of times we have been asked out or over to someone's house. Keep in mind I'm referring specifically to one on one and not parties or "couples events". For a long time I dismissed the speculation saying it was nothing, but it has really started to bother me. 

I completely understand that the road goes both ways. Matt and I almost never have people over unless it's summertime and nice out. We do cookouts! Our house is small and doing this allows us to have people over without being confined to a small living area or kitchen table that wouldn't even seat us all. Is this why we are never thought of? Is it our fault? Or is there some sort of system that people use. Well the Smith Family invited us out last Sunday so we need to have them over in the next couple months, and the Jones Family had us over for coffee so we should probably make a Cold Stone date with them soon...

Envy is huge for me right now. I'm not jealous or turning green and maybe it's not even that bad. I am seriously taking this to the Lord though. I feel so envious when I hear people talking about when they were at so and so's house last week or when a pastor had them over for dinner. Or someone mentions something that only close friends knew about previously and I wasn't on the list. I wish I didn't feel that way but I do! Maybe I just need to make much more of an effort in my friendships. Maybe Matt and I both do. 

Proverbs 14:30

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Galatians 5:26

Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Daniel Fast (Day 1)

So in all honesty I've never done any kind of fast more than a week or so. This Daniel Fast is going to stretch me in ways that I could never imagine. For breakfast I had a peach, so appetizing I know. I have looked up several recipes and I am looking forward to trying them. As I type I have vegetable broth simmering on the stove!

I will try and blog at least a couple times a week and share the recipes I have tried (good or bad).