I think this is the 3rd day in a row that I have blogged. It must be a record.
Discipline is the word for the day. This fast already has taken an incredible amount of it. I hadn't realized when I am preparing meals for my children how much I snack out of habit. I eat one gummy snack when I open a pack for Adaleigh, I snag a couple marshmallows when I make apple smiles for snack time. It has become such a routine that I really have to retrain myself. With that being said, I am so happy that we have that ability. I am so thankful that God chose to allow us to have our own free will. I can choose to do whatever I want. I can choose to do something and then the very next day choose not to do that same thing. I am so much stronger than I realized I was. I've got this in the bag! God is on my side and if I trust in him and put my mind to this, there is nothing that will come between me and finishing this fast (no cheating involved).
So what has on the menu? I'm not an over-achiever like my friends Tim and Consuela, but I did look up several recipes to try because I was at a complete loss as to what I was going to eat. I had visions of a plate with nuts, green beans and a carrot on it. Last night I made vegetable stir fry which wasn't horrible. Then I made a batch of oven oatmeal. The recipe called for almond milk (which I've never had) raisins, natural applesauce, cinnamon, dates and pecans. I had it for breakfast this morning and it was delightful! And dates are actually good, don't know what I hadn't tried them before. I also tried "Banana Milk" which consisted of almond milk, bananas and cinnamon in a blender. Who knew this would be so good?
What an amazing way to learn to be more disciplined and listen more closely to the heart of God.
On a completely unrelated note, I need to complain about something.
I am a very trusting person. I have been most of my life. If you're nice to me and we are even just new friends I will trust you completely unless for some reason you give me a reason not to. I have a tendency to just believe that if someone is nice to me and we hang out a couple times that we have become good friends. I think that is some of my old insecurity starting to come out. More recently it has become very apparent in several instances that I am not as close to several people as I thought that I was. It's nothing that they did intentionally (at least I don't think so), but it is pretty apparent non the less. Matt has commented several times in the last year that we NEVER get invited out by other couples or asked over for dinner. This is completely true. In the 3 years we have been at our current church I can count on one hand the number of times we have been asked out or over to someone's house. Keep in mind I'm referring specifically to one on one and not parties or "couples events". For a long time I dismissed the speculation saying it was nothing, but it has really started to bother me.
I completely understand that the road goes both ways. Matt and I almost never have people over unless it's summertime and nice out. We do cookouts! Our house is small and doing this allows us to have people over without being confined to a small living area or kitchen table that wouldn't even seat us all. Is this why we are never thought of? Is it our fault? Or is there some sort of system that people use. Well the Smith Family invited us out last Sunday so we need to have them over in the next couple months, and the Jones Family had us over for coffee so we should probably make a Cold Stone date with them soon...
Envy is huge for me right now. I'm not jealous or turning green and maybe it's not even that bad. I am seriously taking this to the Lord though. I feel so envious when I hear people talking about when they were at so and so's house last week or when a pastor had them over for dinner. Or someone mentions something that only close friends knew about previously and I wasn't on the list. I wish I didn't feel that way but I do! Maybe I just need to make much more of an effort in my friendships. Maybe Matt and I both do.
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
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