Reflections

As sit here typing I am drinking my last cup of coffee from my NEW Keurig for a while. Matt and I will be starting the Daniel fast tomorrow, which I will talk about a little more later. I look back on 2011 and begin to reflect on the kind of year that it was I realize that I have so much to be thankful for. I never forgot, but sometimes it's nice to be reminded.

2011 brought us several circumstances to us that were out of our control. We could have easily taken the opportunity at those moments to question our faith and even walk away from God.

Adaleigh fell and hit her head back in the earlier part of the year. After a trip to the local ER she was rushed to Riley Children's Hospital with a suspected brain injury and possible meningitis. After a very long night, lots of tests and some scary vitals she woke up the next morning a little swollen from all the fluids, but completely fine! We were so thankful. The Doctors really had no explanation and she was released. Praise God!

In April after a routine ultrasound we were sent down to a high risk specialist to have a more in depth ultrasound done, because there was something on Gavin's heart. After visiting the specialist it was determined that Gavin had a small hole in his heart. This is something that can be treated with meds after delivery or can close up on it's own after delivery. In a few cases it does require surgery. All we could do was pray, but I never got anxious about it. God gave me a peace I cannot even begin to describe.

In May I ended up in taking several trips to the hospital with severe abdominal and back pain. It was finally determined that I one of my kidneys was almost completely blocked. The condition called Hydronephrosis is many times brought on by pregnancy. I was told that I would likely be in pain until I delivered Gavin and that there was not much they could do. After about a week the pain subsided and soon I was pain free. Praise the Lord for another healing.

In the fall we saw our good friends Will and Sabrina loose their little girl Ashtyn. She was their 4th child. Our hearts were completely broken for them.

In late October Eden started getting sick. It was kind of weird, she didn't have a fever and wasn't throwing up, but looked as if she'd had the flu for weeks and didn't want to do anything. Over the course of the weekend she got increasingly worse. Monday morning Matt took her to the doctor and we were told there was nothing wrong with her. By that afternoon she became more and more sedentary. She just stared at the wall and wouldn't even answer us. We checked her blood sugar thinking she had classic signs of a low and it was 356! Normal for her age is 80-120. We rushed her to the ER and by the time they checked it again her sugar was almost 500. They determined she was in Ketoacidosis. She had lost 6lbs in 3 weeks. Her body had no insulin to keep it going and had begun to feed on her fat. They transfered her to Peyton Manning's Childrens Hospital where she could get care from the best endocrinologist. We found out that she had Type 1 diabetes and would be insulin dependent for life. After several days in the hospital we were released with tons of info and supplies.

2011 also brought us TONS of great things.

My brother joined the Army!

We saw like 20 babies born at our church! I got to be pregnant with my good friends Bethany and Charity. They both gave birth to handsome baby boys!

Jackson Freeman

Caden Ramlal

On July 25th I was induced 9 days after my due date. 

Matt finally got his boy!!!! Gavin Nathaniel Speaks he was perfect. No hole in his heart!!!!! Completely healed. 8lbs 14oz and 21" long.

Adaleigh holding her baby brother for the first time!

Eden holding her baby brother for the first time!

He looks just liked just like Eden!!!!!

Bethany and baby Jackson came to see us!

Me holding Gavin and Charity holding Caden

Several other notable births include Anale born to Becky and Sanford, Brock and Lynlee born to Jesse and Destiny, Charlie born to Consuela and Tim, Judah born to Ricky and Brooke, Keegin born to Todd and Tami, Benjamin born to Adam and Sarah AND FINALLY Ella born to Jessica and Stormy (Yesterday). LOTS of precious little ones!!! I feel like I forgot someone so if I did I am so sorry. 

My cousin Rochelle got married and Eden got to be the flower girl! It was a HOT day, but the wedding was beautiful!

Eden played Soccer and T-Ball this year for the first time.

Matt and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. 

I headed up the public relations and advertising for First Assembly's annual Independence Day Celebration which went off without a hitch. 

I turned 25!

Adaleigh started preschool and loves her teacher Mrs. Wilson

Eden continued preschool in K4 and loves her teacher Mrs. Jones

I got the honor of coordinating the wedding day of Jamey and Monica Young. 

My friend Nicole got married.

Matt started working full time out at Clinton County EMS on the ambulance and LOVES it.  

I planned and coordinated First Assembly's first Christmas Craft Show. It went so well and I hope to plan another one next year. 

Eden's diabetes is under control and she is checking her own blood sugar and taking her own shots. 

Another thing I got to do this year was start attending Life Groups. I am so glad that Matt and I decided to do this. It allowed us to get to know the incredible Hair and Young Families a lot better in the Daddy Doughnut and Mommy Muffins Group.  I was also a part of the First AG Mom's Playgroup life group and had the pleasure of co-leading it in the fall with Consuela. I met and got to know several moms that I may not have if I had not been part of the group.

God opened so many doors for me this year. I have spoken to people that I never would have spoken to and done things I never would have done if not for the help and prompting of the holy spirit. He blessed my business beyond measure. My overall sales in 2011 were triple what they were in 2010. 

I am so looking forward to 2012. I am excited about where my family, my business and my life are headed. I can't wait for all the NEW things God has for us. I am keeping my mind open. 

Back to the Daniel Fast. Matt and I decided to start the year 2012 with a Daniel fast. To be honest I was not looking forward to it at first. However as I have thought and prayed about it cannot wait to begin. I want to start the year with a detox and this is the perfect way to do it. I have never fasted longer than a week, and although I will be eating, not eating the "normal" things in my diet will be a huge challenge, but I am up for it. I believe for the church fast I will be fasting FB! Here is my life Lord, do what you will with me in 2012. 

Who is Christmas About Again?

Christmas brings so many mixed emotions for me. I absolutely enjoy almost every aspect of it. I used to despise my mom for "hating" on Santa. As children my siblings and I were never told that Santa brought the presents nor that he was real. It was in fact quite the opposite. I was not allowed to sit on Santa's lap or even color pictures of him. We were not allowed to write him letters or leave him milk and cookies. Throughout my childhood I thought it was absurd.

When I first became a parent, I convinced myself that allowing my kids to do things like "believe" in Santa and celebrate him as a part of Christmas was ok as long as I didn't tell them, "Santa brought the gifts". I have gotten so frustrated this year about the whole thing. The more time goes on and the less of a big deal I make of it, the more of a big deal the world makes of it. "Santa" is taking over the Christmas scene! He is stealing the spotlight from the one person who is the reason we actually celebrate. People who are not Christians, if asked, will tell you that we celebrate Christmas because Jesus was born (even if that's not why they themselves celebrate). People dance around this topic like they are on eggshells, it's almost as bad as the abortion debate. "Don't mess with Santa".

I am so sick and tired of hearing my kids sing, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". NO HE'S NOT!!!! Please know that I completely understand that it is innocent coming from them, but I still don't like it. I don't buy Santa wrapping paper or any decorations with Santa on them. I can't in good conscience tell them a story about a man that doesn't exist only to have them be angry with me later for lying to them.

Why not instead tell them of the real man that Christmas is about? Jesus. A little baby who came to save the people of the world from their sins. A man who loved without reservation and saw so much more in people than they ever saw in themselves. Jesus who today still loves without reservation and sees so much more in me than I ever saw in myself. The one who said, "Let the little children come to me", when everyone else was pushing them away.

I want my children to know the Jesus that gives love and life and healing! When was the last time you heard a story about Santa leaving food on the doorstep of a family who didn't know where their next meal was coming from? God does things like that every day and uses servants like you and I to show his grace and mercy to people who are on their last drop of hope.

Where is the line at the mall to have your picture taken with baby Jesus? I wonder given the choice and the two were side by side at the mall (Baby Jesus and Santa) how many people would still get their picture taken with Santa. We idolize a man "who does something nice for children once a year". What about the one who gives us LIFE 365 days a year? What about the one who gives JOY unspeakable. I choose Jesus!

Mixed Emotions

Today has been filled with so many different emotions. As I went to sleep last night I put Gavin in his own room in his crib for the first time. I cannot believe he will be 2 months old tomorrow. He is growing too quickly. I was hoping to wake to the news that our friends Tim and Consuela had delivered their baby boy. Instead I woke up to news that another couple we know had delivered their little girl at 37 weeks still born.

My heart is so broken for them, I cannot imagine what they are feeling. Several families in our church have also been affected by similar situations and it's just so hard to understand. I know that there is no "reason" and that we can ask "why", but there isn't really an answer. Even for someone who is standing on the outside like me though, it is so tragic. An event like this can only make you stronger. Its hard to feel blessed for the precious children in my life when others around me are mourning the loss of a child they will never know.

On a happier note, Consuela did deliver a healthy baby boy today! I am so happy for them and cannot wait to hold him. I'm kinda glad I'm not going to see them till tomorrow as I'm not sure I could handle it today.

Baby Gavin etc

So It's been a while since I last blogged, I haven't been too busy-just too lazy. I had my 3rd child, Gavin Nathaniel Speaks on July 25th at 4:04pm. My birth was quick and though not painless, every moment was worth it. For those of you that were following the news regarding Gavin's heart, it was fine. The hole closed itself up and his heart is beating completely regularly. He was a healthy 8lbs. 14oz and 21 inches long at 9 days "overdue". He is a fabulous baby and was already sleeping 5 hours at night before he was a week old. I am blessed for sure.

The real reason I thought to blog tonight though is because it can be so therapeutic. I chose to breast feed Gavin as I did with both of my girls. With them I dried up both times at almost 3 weeks on the dot. With Eden I chalked it up to being a first time mom, not drinking enough fluids and an irregular diet. Then with Addy I wasn't able to actually breast feed her because of her starting out in NICU. I could only pump and so when I dried up again I assumed that was why. I was determined that it would be different. I kept up on my fluids, ate well and was even pumping an additional 12-16 ounces daily in excess of what Gavin was eating.

I started noticing yesterday that I was not pumping the 6-8 ounces extra (3-4 times daily) that I had been. By this morning I was down to just 4 ounces so I ate like a hog all day in hopes that I had just not had enough caloric intake. I texted a friend and she was very encouraging. I called and made an appointment with a Lactation consultant to see if there was anything I could do to change what seemed to be the inevitable. By this evening when I went to feed Gavin he nursed for nearly an hour and I still had to give him a bottle with an additional 2 ounces. I am a total wreck. It is beyond frustrating to do everything in your power to ensure you can nurse successfully and then not be able to. Obviously nursing is best for mom and baby. I have these two giant freaking boobs and I'm going to have to put my son on formula. I don't feel like a failure because I know that I did everything right. I just wish I could feed my son the way nature intended me to.

Oh by the way I'm so thrilled I spent $200 on a breast pump 2 weeks ago.

My Addy Boo

Monday evening when the girls went to bed Matt was at basketball. They didn't go to sleep right away, as always. Around 9pm I heard a loud thump and quickly ran to their room as I knew someone had been injured. When I entered the room Addy was on Eden's bed crying holding her head. She had been standing on Eden's bed, trying to turn on the lamp and somehow fell, hitting her head on the end of the wooden bed frame. I checked her head for bumps and found nothing, even moved her hair around a little to make sure she was not bleeding.

I checked on her several more times just to be sure she was ok. Later when Matt got home and we were headed to bed we went in to check on her again. This time I found a huge lump on the back of her head. When I had Matt feel it he noticed it was bleeding. We ran her into the bathroom and cleaned it up so we could see how bad it was. The cut was about 4/10" long and gaping open due to the knot. We decided that taking her to the ER was our best bet to see if she needed stitches.

When we arrived at the ER the doctor came right out and checked on her before we even checked in. He said that if we kept it clean that it should not get infected and there was no reason to put her through the trauma of stitches or staples. Since she was acting normal and didn't loose consciousness they didn't see any reason for a Cat Scan.

Tuesday all day she acted a little under the weather, but since she was not vomiting there was no cause or concern. She complained her head hurt (I know mine would too), so we gave her tylenol. When she woke up from nap Tuesday she threw up, but just once. At dinner time we had pizza and she didn't want to eat because she didn't feel well. I just assumed that she was really just not feeling well. Wednesday when I woke her up I found that she had thrown up again sometime in the night. I called her pediatrician right away to see if she could get an appointment. They said we needed t take her straight to the ER because she needed a head scan.

I took her reluctantly, because I didn't think that her vomiting 2x in an 8 hour period was really a sign of a concussion. Matt was working at the ER anyway so I called and let him know we were on the way. The doctor was wonderful and didn't even question per pediatricians motives. He treated her just like there was really a serious issue and ordered a CT scan right away. After several hours of waiting and several phone calls to Indy, he came back in. He stated that there were some abnormalities on her scan and that it appeared that she had mastoiditis and a baseline scull fracture. Because he also saw clear fluid in her ear he said he had reason to believe that the fracture was a huge possibility and that she could have fluid leaking which can cause even the least severe cold to turn into Meningitis which is very deadly.

After speaking with pediatric neurosurgeon's at both Peyton Manning's Childrens's Hospital and Riley Hospital for Children he decided to transfer us to Riley to be seen there by some people who were a  little more qualified and skilled in this area. They called an ambulance to transport us and I ran home to grab some overnight essentials not really knowing how long we would be gone. At this point I was still pretty numb not really knowing what to expect. When we left the hospital Addy was a little tired , but alert and talking. She fell asleep on the way and slept for about 20 minutes.

When we arrived at Riley I was completely overwhelmed. I had never been there before and was not sure what to expect.  I followed the Medics as they wheeled Addy into her room where a team of over 8 people was waiting for us. Doctors, nurses, social services, councelors, a chaplain etc. flooded the room. She was hooked up to monitors and checked over from head to toe. I feel like I answered 30 questions in 5 minutes, but I they did it a way that was not stressful and allowed me to still be with Addy. Matt was not there yet as he had to get off work and then follow us there.

As the room cleared out I heard her nurse say she had tachycardia. I texted Matt because I didn't really know what that meant. As I started to watch her vitals on the monitor. Her blood pressure was 93/38 which is way too low and her heart rate was running between 130-140 bpm. Addy was completely lethargic. They gave her 3 bags of saline to try and get her hydrated and get her stabilized. By this time Matt had arrived and she was almost completely out of it. She just laid there, eyes sometimes rolling back in her head. She couldn't even hold my hand. She would barely answer us or the doctors and by this time we had found out that her blood sugar was only 44. Had it gotten any lower the possibility of a stroke was almost inevitable.  When I looked over and saw Matt sobbing with his head buried in his hands, I knew it was getting really bad.


The radiologist, neurosurgeons, on call doctors, pediatric specialists and residents all reviewed her Cat Scan and found no fracture. Their main concern was the area that the Lafayette doctor had thought the fracture had been in. It was filled with fluid that they determined was from the mastoiditis, a double ear infection and a sinus infection (non of which she had symptoms of prior to that day). They were still completely baffled at why she took such a drastic turn for the worse in such a short period of time. 


After speaking to several Neurosurgeons and them doing evaluations, they determined that her symptoms were not neurological and they could not help her and referred us to an Ear Nose and Throat Doc. They quickly decided that it was very possible with the severity of her symptoms that she would have meningitis. They started her on antibiotics. The only way to be sure if she had it or not is a lumar puncture. By this time her sugar was stable and they began to go through the process of preparing us for the procedure. 


We went ahead with the procedure feeling very helpless. Matt having a medical back round was fully aware of what was going on and the severity of it. I was content to be oblivious. The less I knew, the less I had to worry about. I just sat there and held her hand so she would know I was there. The blood tests all came back normal as did the lumbar puncture. We were told we'd be admitted to a room for observation and to make sure Addy's vitals stayed stable and she did not go into tachycardia again or get low blood sugar. 


We were finally taken to a room about 1am Thursday morning. Addy had been sleeping soundly since about 9pm as she was not only exhausted, but drowsy from the meds they gave her to do the lumbar procedure. We went to sleep not really knowing what her condition was, if she was getting any better or what to expect in the morning. 


When she woke up in the morning she was fine. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the fluids, but she was thirsty and hungry and perfectly herself. Her vitals checked out. After eating breakfast and being seen by the team of hospitalists she was taken off the fluids and monitors to see how she would do. They still had no explanation as to why she got dehydrated so badly, so quickly. It had nothing to do with the fall, but had we not gone into the ER because of the fall, where would we be. 


I am so thankful that God guided the hands of every person who touched her and gave me peace throughout the whole thing. He truely touched her. I don't know if she ever had a fracture, but if she did-GOD HEALED HER. I don't know why she got so dehydrated for no apparent reason, but GOD HAD HIS HAND ON HER and she is blessed and highly favored. She was so close to death lying there with her little heart fighting to keep up with her struggling body and came through it. She woke up hours later like nothing had ever happened, completely healed of any abnormalities or sickness. PRAISE GOD!!!!

Mommy Time

Last night after a long day of activities I found myself with a terrible headache. My first thought was, "I've gotta finish painting the hallway. Really??? I stopped myself and realized how little I do for myself. And why does guilt for time spent on yourself come so easily when you're a mom?

A couple weeks ago I was invited to Spajama Party. Even though I did not know the girl who was hosting it very well, I decided I was going to go anyway. BEST decision I could have made. I was there for at least 2 hours. Shared in wonderful relaxing spa treatments, girl talk, mommy talk and learned a little more about some amazing ladies in my church. I ordered a Detoxifying Bath Soak (a little pricy for me) and told myself that once a week I would take out time for myself (even if it's the only thing for myself I do) and spend time soaking in the bathtub not worrying about anything.

In just a few short months, I will go from a mother of two, to a mother of three. I will be exhausted, because I know I have forgotten what getting up 3 times a night feels like. I will be grouchy and worn down and pulled in 12 different directions. The only thing I need to remember though is to take time for myself. A nap, coffee with a friend, watching a show I love, prayer and devotions...MOMMY TIME.

I will not feel guilty about taking time away from children to take a 30 minute bath. The girls will not actually kill each other, although it may sound that way. My husband can make a meal, even if he thinks he can't, the baby can lay in his crib or swing without being cuddled. I encourage all moms to remember to take time out for you. Even as little as 30 minutes can change your outlook on the day and your mood.    

Valentimes Day

First off I am aware I spelled "Valentines Day" incorrectly, but my girls say it that way and it's so much cuter.

Tonight my husband and I are headed out on a mystery date. For the first time in almost 8 years, he planned something special for Valentines Day, made reservations, got a sitter and most importantly didn't tell me what was going on. I mean I have those details, but I have no idea where we are going. This is HUGE for Matt. I love him dearly, but he and I both know he is lacking a little in the planning department. I am so happy that he has managed to put this evening together and keep it to himself. After all, he is the man who has always insisted that we do Christmas early because he is so excited about what he got me. So we usually open presents the evening he gets home from shopping. I could really care less if we are going somewhere to paintball or going to a nice dinner. The fact is that he has taken charge and planned an evening I will always remember, no matter what we end up doing.

If one year ago today you had told me that this is where my marriage would be, I would have never believed you. I am beyond words as to how I fully feel. It is amazing what God has brought us through and taught us in the last year and a half. I am truly blessed beyond measure.

Random thoughts.

Having breakfast with Floyd Masters the Monday made me realize how much I enjoy being in youth/young adult ministry. It gave me such joy.

This pregnancy is taking forever.

Although my sister and I have never been "close" or what you call BFF's, I am beginning to realize how much I miss her not being here in Lafayette.

I am so looking forward to being a mother of 3! I cannot wait to see the girls interacting with their new baby brother/sister and see how excited they are to be a part of it all.

My marriage is amazing right now. I love the place that it's at and cannot wait for it to keep getting better.

I really want to go back to school, but I really don't want to. I HATED school, HATED homework. I think I will just put it off a little longer. ha ha

And finally I want twins, secretly. I mean, I was a twin and they run in my family. It could happen, right? I know I would probably cry and be a little overwhelmed until I had everything planned out and under control. BUT I would still LOVE IT>

Football Season Makes Me Sad Now

Before I got married 5 years ago, I never watched football. I didn't understand it nor did I care to. Man was I missing out. What was once not even a part of my life, I have truly grown to love.

I really do enjoy sitting down with my husband (and sometimes his friends) to watch Saturday college games, Sunday Night Football and Monday Night football. Sure we have our favorites, but we watch it all. I love to make football food. I love to have he and his friends tell me, "this is the best thing I've ever eaten". I thoroughly enjoy watching him jump off the couch and scream at the refs, the players and the coaches.

Now this season has been very different. My husband works nights and not only nights, but weekends now. He works every Friday, Saturday and Sunday Night. So on Saturday when college football is on...he's sleeping. On Sunday afternoon when NFL games are on...he's sleeping. And when Sunday Night Football is on...he's working. I try to watch the games alone, but it's just not the same. That is why football season makes me sad now.

I know he's working hard for us and boy do I appreciate it. This is just a different season for me. People talk about seasons like they al have to be spiritual. THEY AREN'T. Your life goes through seasons that sometimes are not at all related to your spiritual life. This season will make me stronger I know, but I don't have to like it.